We all know women are more emotional creatures than men while they are more physical beings. You might be out at dinner with your beau and an attractive woman walks past the table, you notice she’s caught his eye as he looks a little too long at her figure. This sends you into an internal screaming rage with questions darting across your mind like “does he think she’s more attractive than me?” or “am I not enough for him?”.
If the situation were reversed and you were to stare a little longer at a gorgeous man walking past, it’s unlikely your partner would go into the same question-fuelled psychosis that we would.
Men and women are wired differently; men can be just physically attracted to someone with no emotional connection, while women mainly find a partner using familiarity and connecting on a deeper level. As men find novel parts of women attractive (breasts, butt or legs), women tend to have more of a ‘type’ finding a particular kind of man attractive. Women can stare at men too, but we’re a little more discreet (and less creepy) than the opposite sex.
It’s normal for men to have wandering eyes—yes all men darling—it’s in their nature. While it might not have been apparent during the honeymoon phase of your relationship as all his attention was focused on you, you might now be noticing him looking at others every so often.
If he’s a normal, respectable guy, he’ll glance at the woman passing for a second and bring his attention right back to you. The other woman will leave his mind pretty quickly because really he’s at the restaurant to be with you! Remember you are the woman he chooses to be in a relationship with above being single or with someone else, so take a deep breath and silence those darting questions in your head.
When a man has a wandering eye it does not mean that he finds her more beautiful, or he isn’t attracted to you, or you don’t satisfy him, or he isn’t happy in the relationship, or that he is/will be unfaithful. A glance at another woman’s body can mean he’s attracted to any of her assets and he might wonder what it’s like to be with her, but that’s all it is: a thought. The important thing to remember is a grown, mature man who respects you will never act on these thoughts – that’s the difference between being a man and being an asshole.
However, your man looking at other women isn’t anything to be alarmed about except when he’s blatantly staring (not just looking), makes an inappropriate comment, flirts or even touches other women; those are the red flags that he’s losing interest in you and he doesn’t respect you (or any woman) — pack your things and go!
You can’t quite stop men from having a wandering eye indefinitely, but you can make it clear that it hurts your feelings. If you see he’s doing it a little too often or you find yourself doubting how he feels about you and the relationship, it’s best to sit down and actually tell him how his gawking makes you feel. As much as we wish they were, men aren’t mind-readers and they won’t be able to guess how you feel if you stay silent during dessert and on the drive home.
While it can be hard to take down the walls and actually admit you feel insecure when he does look at others, he’ll be able to see your perspective on it – he feels only physical attraction to her and nothing more, but he has no idea that you feel like he’ll dump you for her in a second. It sounds irrational and totally illogical when you read it, but this is exactly how a lot of women feel when put in that situation.
The best thing to do about your man’s wandering eye is to talk with him; you could end up discussing why he does it, or it could be the conversation you need to have to reignite a spark between you that will have you keeping his gaze from now on.